Finding Love in the Modern World: A Relationship Coach's Perspective Andre Paradis, a relationship and dating coach who helps successful businesswomen find love. He joins Justin Benton to share his journey into coaching and how his difficult childhood inspired his interest in the human condition. He also explains why he thinks male-female relationships have become more difficult in recent years, citing a paradigm shift towards gender equality as a contributing factor. Produced by PodConx Justin Benton - https://podconx.com/guests/justin-benton Janet Benton-Gaillard - askjanet.org Andre Paradis - https://www.linkedin.com/in/andre-paradis-361a7913/ Website - https://projectequinox.net/ https://101hempinnercircle.com/ www.themiracleplant.org info@101CBD.org Join Our #HealTheWorlders Messenger Tribe at https://bit.ly/TheMiraclePlant_Messenger
Finding Love in the Modern World: A Relationship Coach's Perspective
Andre Paradis, a relationship and dating coach who helps successful businesswomen find love. He joins Justin Benton to share his journey into coaching and how his difficult childhood inspired his interest in the human condition. He also explains why he thinks male-female relationships have become more difficult in recent years, citing a paradigm shift towards gender equality as a contributing factor.
Justin Benton - https://podconx.com/guests/justin-benton
Janet Benton-Gaillard - askjanet.org
Andre Paradis - https://www.linkedin.com/in/andre-paradis-361a7913/
Website - https://projectequinox.net/
https://101hempinnercircle.com/
Join Our #HealTheWorlders Messenger Tribe at https://bit.ly/TheMiraclePlant_Messenger
[00:00:00] welcome back to the Miracle Plant Podcast, where we discussed this miracle plant with so many names and how it's helping people in so many extraordinary ways. Well, today we have an awesome local guest down the 1 0 1 in Woodland Hills.
We're up here in Ventura. We have Andre Parody, who is a relationship in dating coach for successful business businesswomen. He's got an incredible. Of accolades, including being a two-time Amazon bestseller, certified NLP coach, public speaker. The list goes on and on. What a, what a blessing it is to have you on the Miracle Plant Podcast.
Welcome to the show, brother. How are you? Thank you, Justin. Good morning. I'm great. Awesome. Awesome. Well, tell us a little bit about your journey, how you got to where you are and, and, uh, yeah, I'd love to hear, I, I love this topic. We talk about a lot about mindset and relationships and things like that on the Miracle Plant Podcast of having that holistic health approach, but I'd love to hear your journey.
So, uh, for me it started with a difficult childhood as most of us that are successful. Often comes from [00:01:00] rough beginnings, I think, you know, uh, so I became an observer because of my circumstances and my family became an observer of human beings. Like I was trying to understand my life, my people, my, my world.
I was, didn't make any sense as a kid. So, so I started watching people and it was an observative people, and it became fascinated with the, the. Condition. You know, how do people turn the way they turn out and you know, is there some kind of norm and all that jazz? So that has always been my brain. Curious about the human condition.
Been taking diff personal development since I was 23 years old, build a few businesses. But in 2006 I got into another workshop sort of seemingly by. No such thing. Uh, it was called Understanding Women here in Los Angeles. At the time I was married with two little kids. Uh, not looking for this information.
There was just an opportunity that came up that I took on that workshop. Anyway, after that workshop, understanding women realized that I knew nothing about women [00:02:00] at all, which I found incredib with Bethany cuz I thought I knew something somehow. Maybe cuz my artistic personality kind of thing was easier for me.
Sime. But I realized that day as well that I didn't know anything about my wife of 10 years. And that, uh, my whole family comes from like divorce and, you know, two, three times one, four on four, I have my beautiful wife, my two little kids, and I'm not gonna mess this up because I didn't know. Do you know what I mean?
So I went into panic mode and basically took that company's entire curriculum, became a workshop leader for them, you know, within a minute, cuz I'm a. And then that started the journey. So from that space, I went continued training in John Grace, Shanti, Han Esther Perel, Dr. Pat Allen, Los Angeles. So that's how it started.
And now I went from uh, dancing Around the World. That's my primary business. Another business in Los Angeles. And now this is all I do relationship coaching and I help men and. [00:03:00] Dismantle or, you know, I, I help them alleviate the pain and the, the misunderstanding between us because it's gotten more difficult and there's very good reasons for that.
So that's what I do. Love it. Love it. Well, and I love this topic. I've, I was having this topic over, we were discussing this over breakfast at our favorite little. Nice, uh, diner called Allison's. And um, if you ever Ventura, I go check it out. You'll love it. Okay? Biscuits and, uh, anyways, um, so why do you think that we are having more difficulties?
I have my opinion, but why do you think we're having more, uh, difficulties with the male and the female relationship, especially with your significant other? Yeah. Well, in a nutshell, and it's changed, right? 10 years ago was different. 10 years ago was always like, you know, men, men were always baffled with women's behavior, or they take everything personally, right?
They, they, uh, they're too sensitive, they're too emotional. Like, you know, just relax. Don't let that bother you. That was always the [00:04:00] paradigm, right? Men were like, kind of just chill out, right? Like, No, not understanding why they're so emotional and whatever. So, and then women would be like, you guys don't talk, you know, I don't know what's going on with you.
I need more conversation, any more connection. You know, you, you know, thinking we're shallow cause we don't talk so much and often cold. What? So that was always that, right? But about 10 years ago started the past five, five years, the past three has gone through the roof. The disconnect now is because we teach everyone that equality is, Equality, equality rates, it's everywhere.
It's, it's our platform. It's everywhere. You know, equalize men equal to women and understand, on paper it sounds, it sounds right. You know what I mean? Equalize the playing field and business and, and opportunities, you know what I mean? That's absolutely, and, and that's not really the where the problem is.
The problem is when you bring equality to the love relationships, it destroys the love relationships. That's what it comes in, because the equality. [00:05:00] Of outcome is one thing, but it's gotta, it transferred. The belief is now transferred that we have to be equal people. Equal beings act the same, right, equal as the same.
So men are have to be more like women, to be good men and women have to be more like men to be good, uh, good women. And this is where the wheels come off completely. In my world, it's amazingly, uh, confusing, but it sounds like it should be better. Right. And it doesn't. It's the worst thing that's ever happened to civilization.
Uh, couples and marriages.
Are you still Yeah, yeah, I'm still here. Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. I mean, I had your thinking, huh? No, but I'm right on it. You know, I'm right with you. I, I literally was having this conversation this morning, which is, it's funny how that works all in the universe. So, so how do we, how do we, how do we fix it? How do we, how do we get maybe back into those, uh, more traditional or just those roles, uh, to get rid.
Everyone trying to be, you know, [00:06:00] Towards the center, you know, the, the, you know, instead of being on opposite sides, it's gonna take some time because we over calibrated out the other way. Right. We swung too far the other way and everything now is the wheels are coming off. It doesn't make any sense. So what happened is, everything I teach is, in my opinion, right, it's, it's all nature.
It's nature science. Chemistry. So in nature, nothing of the male and female is the same, right? The male and female in nature, in no species, just do your own research, act the same. They all have very specific roles in order for them to come together and continue the species right? Have some kids and keep them safe so their species continues.
So men and women are completely different, not even a little bit equal. Complet, Mars and Venus, like Dr. John Gray says it's even bigger than this. To me it's like two different Galax. We're made in opposition completely, a hundred percent, but we're made to be complimentary and fit together. What I do naturally, what I'm compelled to do as a hunter, as a male, as a conqueror, as a, you know, [00:07:00] a competitive person who's building stuff in in the world and pushing to get ahead, that's all masculine and paradigm, that's a lot, takes a lot of energy.
We're testosterone. We have testosterone in our bodies to fuel us and. Be able to function that way is good for us. And so that's nature, right? So let men be men, let them compete, let them fight, and then do what men do to build their characters, you know, work through their fears and be able to, here's the key, when a man handled this life and pushes to and build something big, that takes discipline and challenge.
They get to be respected. Not only they respect themselves, they, they get to be respected by both men and women. A man who does nothing, no ones respects you. No, he is a loser. So, back to nature, the, the, the masculine conquers and fights and push and provides, protects, gives him cherish his family, his wife, his loved ones.
You know, he [00:08:00] builds a kingdom, puts his arms around it, takes care of everyone in it. That's, that's m. The feminine is in nature. The nurturing, you know, fertile, creating life energy is fantastic. Men, women create life for Christ's sake, like is anything better than that? And we're designed to protect them in that, in that role where a woman who's pregnant needs protection, a woman with babies is protection.
A woman raising children needs to take so much energy that he provides an environment for her to be able to be safe and protected in that as he provides. Security as it provides the food, if you know what I mean, the machine of life. So in everywhere in nature, that's, that's how it goes. Like complimentary, completely different.
But now we decide that women have to be more like men, strong, independent, and powerful to be valuable, that men have to be sweet and sensitive to be good men. So men stop working, women start, start working and push through life in a manner that is unnatural. And what happens is it burns them out. [00:09:00] And when it comes to relationships, basically it will become men on.
Right, and we collide. We fight, we push against each other where we need to be masculine and feminine dance. The polarity of our masculinity, our femininity, the more this, this energy, the more there's polarity, the more there's this dif, the more we're masculine and feminine, the more polarity there is. The more attraction there is, the more we're compelled.
We pull at each other as opposed to push against each. So what I'm talking about is back to nature, is yeah, very sort of a traditional way to be with a modern twist, right? We're not going back to the fifties. That's ridiculous. There's a modern way to do a more traditional way that works to build relationships, to build families, to build marriages, and to raise healthy kids who then could go on to have healthy relationship and raise healthy families of their own.
I love it. I love it. And I, I think also, you know, I would add to that, that how we've gotten [00:10:00] into this predicament is, you know, you look at the fifties and you look like the, the father figure, the traditional father would go out and he would go to work and he would bring home the bacon and the, the mom would.
You know, make sure the house was in order and make sure the kids were on in time. And, you know, they sometimes had the, the, the mom still had jobs and things like that too. Um, if, if the, if the dad was bringing home enough bacon, the mom didn't have to work, which is what a lot of people are working for, especially men, uh, in this day and age.
But what I see the difference happened is when, you know, part of it is consumerism, keeping up with the Joneses. We have two dual incomes. We have father and mom working full-time. Yep. And so now the, the, you, you, that dynamic has now shifted. Now they're both going out and hunters and gatherers. Yep. And now you also have the dad sometimes that are staying home more, helping raise the kids where everyone, you know, so now they're even the, the moms, traditionally the nurturing moms will sit there and be like, well, I don't want your [00:11:00] opinion on how to raise the kids.
That's my do. And so anyways, there's these dynamics that just never were, that's what I'm talking about around, that's what I'm talking about. And that's what I love. Yeah. I love the, the fact that you're on this, and I've been on this journey too, so I just, uh, I find it so fascinating and, and so few people talk about this or know about this.
Right. Um, did, did John Gray get into the masculine and feminine energy? I can't remember. I certainly read the book. He doesn't, he doesn't, he doesn't, he talks about the differences. He doesn't talk about masculine and feminine and, and such. The past 10 years of his work has all been, has all been about chemistry.
Mm-hmm. The chemistry of a males, you know, testosterone brain makes him act and behave and be motivated by different things that have that surgeon driven brain. So that's a lot of his work lately, and he goes into digestion system and stuff. And so it's a, it's, it's not as, um, What's the word to me? It's not a satisfying of, of his then the past work that he's done, but he doesn't talk about masculine feminine ever really, you know?
Mm-hmm. He, [00:12:00] he, he, he, he, he went around that topic for some reason. Well, I love it. Yeah, it's, it's, it's such a fascinating conversation and, and I'm just glad that you're out there teaching people and, and that we can have these conversations. And so maybe I'll throw a, a, a little curve ball at you here just for fun.
You're a pro. Really, really is. Um, so what do you say when there's uh, uh, maybe a woman or strong woman who says, well, I don't wanna, you know, just be the mom who raises the kids. I. I want to blaze my own trail. I, you know, that's, that's, that's not, uh, that's not what I'm all about. How does she find, you know, her place to, to help the, to help the dynamic of the relationship?
How does that work when the woman's trying to blaze her own trail and, and Yeah. You know, maybe be a business owner or entrepreneur? How does that work? Yeah. Okay. So one thing about, the first thing I'm gonna say is I, I, that's your life. I'm not here to tell anybody what to do. I'm here to basically help [00:13:00] them solve the problems when they realize it's not working.
Do you know what I mean? So you want to be a boss, babe? Go, I don't care, right? Like, this is you. I'm not here to tell anybody what, what to do. However, what is in my face every day with all of them is that, I wanna say it this way. You can't be in both. Right. You either pick the money lane or you pick the love lane.
If you try to be in both lanes, one will like you will not get both. It's, it's impossible. So women who wanna be in the money lane, you know, boss babes, get a business, all that stuff is fantastic. And we actually raise girls nowadays to be that first. Right? You go girl, you know, build, make yourself nice and secure.
Build a career cuz you can't count on man. You can't depend on that. You don't wanna be like me, mom says, right? Like, I can go anywhere cuz he controlled the money. I get it. I totally get it. So going to the money lane. Eventually doesn't make me win women happy. All of my clients around the age of 35 plus [00:14:00] realize that the money doesn't make them happy.
The relationships that they're looking for are impossible to attain cuz they're too masculine, but they don't know that. You know what I mean? So, My point, my point is, is the price to pay for your choices. And this is what I do. I sound the alarm ladies. Is it really what you want or are you caught up in the cultural tial wave of we go, girl, you don't only no man, but when you get a bit older, you want everything that everybody else always wanted a relationship, companionship, a family, maybe a kid or two, even if it's late.
You know what I mean? So we know that money doesn't, wa doesn't make women happy in the long term. If you're a normal woman, by the way, right? There's all kinds of inbetweens, but to most women, money doesn't make them happy. Relationships make them happy. I love relationships and all the relationships and around her in life, kids, family, you know what I mean?
So you go, girl, all you what? Eventually, [00:15:00] typically it turns out not as satisfying and becomes a life of loneliness. What happens is, you know, you have less choices for relationship options with men at 35, 40 years old, right? Men who wanna be married are already married, the man who are leftovers. It could be something wrong with 'em, right?
There's the reason why they're married, like avoidant or whatever. The other ones that have been married, Don't wanna marry again, so they don't want you to marry, you know what I mean? So it becomes very difficult later on in life for those ladies to find love to build a relationship. And if that's so, my job is trying to sound the alarm before you get there.
Do you want money at all costs? Maybe Love and worship Slater. Okay. That'll be difficult, but Sure. Or so I, I say it this way. You could be a woman with a career or a career woman. You have to pick one. [00:16:00] And if you pick a woman, a career woman, you're probably not gonna have much of a family. Not much relationships.
It'll be difficult for you to be with men because masculine men don't want masculine women. Boss, babe is masculine, right? Collision. Collision. And then it never goes anywhere. And women start, by the time they call me, they go, what's wrong with me? I have money. I'm still pretty. I'm young. I have my own house, my own cars, my own business.
I make six figure. Nobody wants to date me. What's wrong with me? I go, nothing wrong with you, honey. You're too masculine and masculine. Men don't want masculine women. So this is where most of them collide. You see it? I love it. I mean, I, and I love. That, that answer. And, and I think that, um, you know, it's funny, like when you, I had a friend of mine who just turned 50 and he was like, you know, he had that, you know, that measurement that we have and especially like when you turn 30 in general, we're speaking in generalities.
Yeah, yeah. Like when a man turns 30, he'll look back and be like, am I where I need [00:17:00] to be? Am I bringing home the bacon? Am I living the life that I, that I envision? Whereas a woman in general will look back at 30 and be like, Do I have kids? Do I have a family? Have I created, you know, you always see that dynamic at 30.
And so like you said, I mean, if, and, and, and if at the end of the day, if that's how you're, you're, you know, judging your life or, or measuring up your own life, If the woman is worried is focused on the family and the men's focused on the hunter gatherer, bring home the bacon. And then those are your lanes.
Those are your dna, your, your millennia of, of, of, you know, of time that has built us to be a successful species. And yeah, uh, I wouldn't want to fight that too much. So that's just awesome. And no, there's a lot of data, by the way. There's a lot of data, like just do your own research. Right? I just tell people that, you know, I can back it up all you want, but you go back it up that both men and women, In life are happier, live longer, more creative, more productive, you know, healthier, thinner, [00:18:00] when they're in love relationships that work both men and women.
So we're made for that stuff. You know, we're better in relationships. We all know this. People will, this is why people constantly try to get in relationships. Like it's a neurotic need of, of the human species to be. Right. But if we turn women into men and turn men into women, you make this very much almost impossible.
That's what I see every single day. Sad. Well, I'm, I'm glad you're out there fighting a good fight cuz we need more of you because it, it was, it was a new concept to me, like literally within the last 18 months or so that I come across this and it blocked my world and I was like, this makes sense and we need more people at least talking about this and.
Getting in touch with who they are and, and, and having these kinds of conversations. So just awesome stuff. Well, where do people find you? How do they, uh, how do they get to learn more from you and, and where do they, where should they go? They could actually have a gift for you, listeners, if you want. Love it.
That'd be [00:19:00] great. It's in twofold, so if you're, if I said something that resonated with you, you could email me directly with your troubles or challenge. Right. My, my email is Andre coaching, the number one at Gmail, andre coaching one gmail.com. And I will personally answer you like whatever you, so that's one same present, a little up her like I up a little bit.
For people more courageous, I want to say, if you go to Andre Co, sorry, Andre group coaching.com, it takes you to my calendar. You could book a V I P hour to speak to me, men or women. And we'll have a conversation about what is it that doesn't work for you? Were you stuck? What does, what's the dream? And I'm, I'm really, really good at asserting really good.
That's what I do. Uh, I'm very good at. And in one hour really create a roadmap for you to see where the wheels come off or where it is that you were stuck in a [00:20:00] loop that you realize there's nothing wrong with you. There's kind of a loop of.
Sure if I could help. If not, I could refer you to somebody else that could help. So, Andre Group coaching dot. To my calendar book at time and we can have a conversation. Uh, I love it. Love it, love it, love it. Well, I know you got another, uh, you gotta run as I gotta run. But at the end of Every Miracle Plant podcast Yes, sir.
We say heal the world cuz that's what we're on. A mission to reach a billion people by 2025. Heal relationships, heal our, our thoughts heal our, our energy, heal our bodies. So on the counter three, stay with me. And if you're listening in the. Jade with us as well. So the people out there that are looking for help, that are looking for answers will find it.
That vibrational charge will look, turn their head and listen in. So on the count of three, let's say heal the world. 1, 2, 3, heal the, the world. Amen. Standing, standing ovation. [00:21:00] Thanks Mr. For goodbye, the Miracle Plan Podcast. We'll see you next week. Be a blessing and happy healing.